Waiting to Breathe: Book One of the Waiting Duet Read online

  Cora laughed. “You’re ridiculous, but I love you.”

  I grinned through my tears. “I love you too. Thank you for letting me cry all over you.”

  She spooned me in closer in a makeshift hug. “We’re always here for each other. You can’t get rid of me.” She was quiet for a minute. “Will you at least tell Finn about the text?”

  I shook my head. “He doesn’t need to go through this with me every time. It’s bad enough that you had to see it.”

  She sat up next to me on the bed. “I know you want to do this on your own, but you don’t have to. We’re all here and we want to help you.”

  I turned on my back to look up at her. “That’s all I need. That and maybe a Tylenol. I have one hell of a headache from crying.”

  She shook her head, but went in search for meds. I was going to get away with it this time, but one day she wouldn’t accept that I was keeping things from Finn. Cora worried about him just as much as she worried about me.

  I was running late.

  Again.

  Booking it across campus was getting old. Hell, who was I kidding, school was getting old. My frat brothers were all driving me insane and we hadn’t even been back in the house for a full week yet. Odds that I made it a month without punching someone weren’t looking good. Finn was going to have to keep my ass in check this year.

  Maybe I needed to take a semester off, or maybe drop the psych minor. Pre-med was hard enough as it was, but the psych classes were the only thing keeping me sane right now. Those and Finn Crawford’s hot sister, saving her from falling down a flight of stairs was turning out to be the best part of my week. Finn was probably sick of me asking things about her, but I was determined to find out as much as I could. The only problem I was running into was that he was tight lipped when it came to Olivia.

  Last year he wouldn’t stop talking about her, but now that she had started at SCU he just shrugged when anyone brought her up. I know he missed her last year. It was the first time they had ever been separated for that long. They had that weird twin ESP thing going on because it was like he could pinpoint the second she would call. I watched every time he picked up his phone and waited; within seconds normally the thing would ring in his hands.

  While she was travelling he would show me pictures of her, but they hadn’t done her justice. Now having met her, I could imagine her long, dark hair spread out on my pillow, and her piercing, crystal blue eyes staring into mine as I thrust into her.

  Fuck. Now I was fighting off a hard-on on top of being late. Finn would beat the shit out of me if he had any idea of what was going on in my head.

  I snuck into my class and took a seat in the back of the huge lecture hall. Lucky for me no one seemed to notice I was late. This professor was pretty awful from what I had heard, but it was a prerequisite I would need to prepare for the MCAT.

  From the time my dad passed away I knew I wanted to be a doctor, but the closer I got to actually going to medical school the harder it was for me to focus. Keeping my family sorted out was taking most of my time and energy right now. My little brother Jon was on a fast track to jail, and my mom was barely functioning. My other brother Riley had called me last week to tell me my mom had quit taking her depression medication again. It was time for me to have a serious talk with her that I had been putting off for way too long.

  I refocused on what the professor was saying and groaned when he said we would have four major projects that would make up our entire grade. He dismissed class for the day and I picked up my bag to leave. Lila Monroe sashayed her way over to me and I muffled another groan.

  “Hey, Nate. Did you have a good summer?”

  If you enjoy taking care of your younger brother that doesn’t give a shit and a mother that should be doing it herself.

  “Yeah, just stayed busy and took a few extra classes. What about you?”

  “It was great. My family went to Europe, mainly Italy,” she said with a wink.

  “I bet it was awesome. I miss Rome and if I ever get the chance I plan to go back. That was an amazing semester abroad.”

  “It was, wasn’t it,” she purred. I took a step back. Lila came on strong most of the time, but I definitely didn’t want her to think I wanted to go there again. One drunken night was enough. It was a mistake that I never wanted to repeat.

  “So this class is going to suck just as bad as we thought it would,” I said changing the subject.

  “Yeah, unfortunately,” she said leaning back on her heals and sticking out her chest. “Do you want to partner up for the projects? I know a few other people who would join us,” she said quickly when she noticed my hesitance.

  “Fine. Set it up and text me the details.” I looked down at my watch and winced. “Damn it, I’m late. Talk to you later, Lila.”

  ____

  “Dude, you’re late.”

  “I know.”

  I tugged my shirt off over my head and threw it against the wall. Grabbing the bar so I could spot Finn, he shook his head at me.

  “That’s the third time this week. Hitting on another young co-ed?”

  “Actually no. I was setting up a study group and trying to stay out of Lila’s clutches, smartass.”

  “You’re losing your touch then, Ford.”

  If you only knew.

  The little cupcake fiasco hadn’t gone over very well with Olivia. I grunted at him and watched him count his reps.

  “So how’s Olivia doing? Getting used to her classes yet?”

  “If she could find them, I’m sure she would be. I have no idea how she functions. I swear she has absolutely no sense of direction. It’s bad enough she’s text me twice this week because she was lost on campus.”

  “But no more mishaps of nearly falling down a flight of stairs?” I asked laughing.

  “No, thank goodness. I’m just glad she’s here. I didn’t know if she would actually come or not.”

  “Why not? Last rep.”

  “She went through some rough shit last year and I don’t think she really wanted to come back to South Carolina. Switch.”

  Finn never said anything more than that and as much as I respected him for it, I wanted to find out more about his sister. He wasn’t willing to tell anything that was her business. The guy was locked up like Fort Knox with her secrets. But I had a feeling that it would go both ways if anyone was pressing Olivia for information on Finn.

  I added additional weight to each side and tested it. The bar was heavy, but manageable. Finn just shook his head at me and stood there so I didn’t drop the stack on my face.

  “Fucking showoff. So, why all the questions about, Olivia? Are you interested?”

  “Your sister is hot. I’ll admit I’m interested as long as you don’t beat the shit out of me.”

  “I just want to make sure this isn’t some game to you. Not that I think you would do that, but Olivia’s been through enough and I won’t let you fuck around with her.”

  I stared at Finn for a minute before answering. “I’m not the guy you would have to worry about doing that. She’s not someone I would screw with just to see if I could, and not just because of you. Olivia’s…different.”

  “Well then, you have my blessing to go for it, but I doubt you’ll get anywhere. I know for a fact that she’s off dating for the unforeseeable future. If you can convince her to go out with you then you deserve it.”

  I lifted the bar into the rack and sat up. Finn stood in front of me with his arms crossed over his chest. He was built like a fucking tank and standing like that he was intimidating as hell.

  “I do have to warn you though, if you make her cry I will beat the shit out of you.”

  I looked up at Finn. He definitely wasn’t someone I wanted to cross. Ever.

  “Noted.”

  ____

  Christian Harris was the name everyone was talking about at the frat house. He was some senator’s son and apparently legendary in his chapter out of North Carolina. No one knew why, but he
was petitioning to transfer to the SCU chapter, but I didn’t really care until Finn flew into a rage when he heard. Our fraternity president took Finn off to cool off. Erick would be lucky if he didn’t come back with a broken nose or black eye with as pissed off as Finn was.

  My involvement with the fraternity at this point was pretty nonexistent. I lived in the house and went to a party maybe once a month, but I didn’t want to get involved in the politics anymore. My first few semesters had been easy and I had plenty of time to party and chase girls, but now my schedule was too demanding for me to do any of that shit anymore. Maybe I was actually maturing.

  I waited for Finn down in the common room while he tried to calm down. Finn flew out of Erick’s room and I debated if I should try to talk to him or not. Apparently Erick’s little chat hadn’t went all that well. The look on his face told me to fuck off, but he looked like he might explode if he didn’t talk to someone soon. As his best friend, that fun task fell to me. He would either talk or want to fight. I had ended up with sore ribs a few times over the past year.

  “Finn,” I called out from across the room. He nodded and motioned for me to follow him. We walked up the stairs to his room and he slammed his door behind him.

  “If you repeat any of this, I’ll kick your ass.”

  I nodded and he continued.

  “Christian Harris is Olivia’s ex-boyfriend. He’s a fucking prick and if I see him I’m going to have to try really hard not to go to jail.”

  “What did Erick say?”

  “There’s no way to stop him from transferring unless we can get something on him. Even as membership chair, I can’t stop it. I won’t tell Olivia’s secrets and Erick can’t, or won’t, do anything.”

  “So what can I do?”

  “Keep me from killing him.” Finn started breathing hard. “Fuck! I’m freaking out because now I have to go tell Olivia that her worst nightmare is coming true. Damn it, I promised her that he couldn’t bother her here. I’m sure the only reason he’s transferring here is because he found out she’s here.”

  “Is she in some kind of trouble?” I asked alarmed.

  “No, but he’ll make her life a living hell. Olivia and Cora, that’s her roommate, used to hang out with me and Chris all through high school. She was too smart to get involved with him on her own, but our parents pushed them together. At some point Christian lost his fucking mind and cheated on her. Things went down that I won’t get into now, and Olivia left right after graduation. Everything was a fucking mess.”

  “Fuck me.”

  “Yeah. It’s really hard for me not to blame Chris for everything he put her though. I know Olivia had a hand in screwing things up too, but she’s my sister. I’m always going to take her side. Chris lied to me and I beat the shit out of him when I found out the truth.” He winced. “Olivia doesn’t know that part by the way, so please don’t say anything to her.”

  “I wouldn’t. Fuck Finn, I don’t even know what to say.”

  “This is going to fucking kill her, Nate,” he said running his hands over his head. “Just promise me that if she ever chooses you that you treat her right.”

  I nodded once and walked out of the room. Finn came off as a mellow guy to everyone, but I knew he would do anything for his sister. He was going through hell trying to figure out how to tell Olivia and falling apart in the process. Something told me I would be meeting Christian Harris sooner rather than later.

  Shoving my earbuds in my ears, I was finally able to block out the world while I ran. My stride was solid as I carved out the path that I followed every day. The first few times I continuously checked the app on my phone to make sure I was going the right direction. It seemed like I was finally figuring out my way around campus.

  I groaned when my phone chimed in my ears, notifying me of a text and breaking my concentration. Running was my only escape. Before last year I had hated it, but now I lived for my runs. I stopped and sucked in a few deep breaths before pulling out my phone to see who I was pissed at for interrupting me.

  Come by the house when you get done. Stopped by your dorm and Cora said you left. Need to talk to you, it's important.

  Damn, Finn. I looked around to see if I could tell where I was on campus compared to the frat houses and a pair of forest green eyes locked on mine as I glanced behind me.

  "Jesus, Nate. You scared the hell out of me," I said yanking my earbuds out.

  "Sorry, cupcake. I did call your name a few times. Why do you look so stressed out?"

  "I’m trying to figure out where the hell I am on campus. I hate not knowing where anything is. Every time I think I have it figure out, I’m wrong." I huffed out a breath and he stifled a chuckle.

  "Where are you trying to go?"

  "To meet Finn at the house, I guess," I answered frowning at my phone. Nate looked concerned.

  "I'll walk back with you. I was on my way there now, but are you sure you don't want to change first?"

  I stared at him for a minute in confusion.

  "You're going to a frat house in yoga pants and a tank top? Do you want to be stared at? Hell, I'll admire the view, but you ran away so fast the other day I thought the idea might freak you out."

  "I'm sorry I ran, I just," I trailed off unsure what to say. "Finn said it's important so I'll suck it up and go now."

  I started walking and Nate cleared his throat.

  "Where are you going, Olivia?"

  I blushed as he turned in the opposite direction. Nate teased me as we walked a few blocks to the house. And I told him about the time I got lost in California for three hours even though I was only minutes from where I was staying.

  "You really have no sense of direction do you?"

  "None at all."

  I laughed at the surprise that he feigned and shoved at his shoulder playfully. When we reached the house Nate reached out to open the door only to have it thrown wide open in front of us. We were both surprised as Finn grabbed my arm and pulled me behind him from the direction we had just come from.

  "Olivia, come on.”

  “What in the hell is going on, Finn?” He continued tugging me towards his car. “Damn it, Finn. Stop! I’m not going anywhere until you talk to me.”

  “I will, but you need to come with me now.”

  Nate watched from the front of the house as Finn prodded me along towards his car. I huffed in annoyance as he unceremoniously shoved me into the passenger seat. He ran around the car and climbed inside. When he shut his door and started the car I turned towards him.

  “What the hell is this about Finn?”

  “I need to tell you something.”

  “No shit.”

  He shot me a look and I bit back the comment that was on the tip of my tongue.

  “You aren’t going to like it.”

  I stared at him, willing him to just tell me already. Finn had a horrible habit of trying to shield me from the worst, and I had a feeling that he had done just that until it was almost too late.

  “The president of my fraternity pulled me aside to tell me we were having some visitors from surrounding campuses. They’re some possible transfers, nothing out of the ordinary. I asked for some names to see if it was anyone I knew,” he paused, and then sighed before continuing.

  “Finn, don’t you dare say what I think you’re about to.”

  “His name was one of them. I told Erick that he wouldn’t be a good fit and that he might cause problems in the house. But without a good reason it won’t keep him from transferring.

  “No. Absolutely not.”

  “I know you don’t want me to say anything, but if I did it might keep him out. I’m not sure how he found out you were going here, but he did. Liv, he’s trying to transfer in and unless you let me tell Erick, I can’t stop it.”

  “I think I’m going to be sick.”

  He pulled into a parking lot and stopped the car. Sobs wracked my body, and I clung to him. My heart was shattering. Again. Last time it felt like the pain wo
uld never stop. I couldn’t do that again. My breaths came faster. Finn was the only reason I didn’t fall apart last year. I hadn’t wanted to continue living and after everything that happened, I almost didn’t.

  “Shhh, it’s going to be okay, Livie. I won’t let him near you.”

  “I’m not scared of him. I just don’t want to have to remember. That’s going to be impossible if he’s here. I don’t think I can do it again.”

  “I’m going to do everything possible to keep him away from you.”

  “He’s the reason I lost everything Finn. Ellie isn’t with us because of Chris. Every time I see him or think of him, I remember why everything is so impossible. I don’t think I can stay here if he transfers in. I love you and I missed you so much when I was gone, but if he comes here I’m leaving for good this time.”

  Finn looked lost. It was agonizing that I wasn’t just protecting myself; I was hurting the one person I didn’t ever want to hurt. I cried until I couldn’t anymore. My entire soul ached and I didn’t have a fucking clue how to fix it.

  ____

  Sitting in class the next morning sucked. I felt like I had a hangover from all the crying I had done the night before. Nate kept shooting me concerned looks.

  “Stop fucking doing that,” I hissed under my breath.

  “Doing what, cupcake?”

  “Staring at me like I’m going to fall apart.”

  Nate frowned. “I don’t think you’re about to fall apart. I was going to ask if you wanted to go get coffee after class. You look like you could use a pick me up. I just don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”

  I’m an idiot. All he wanted to do was to help me feel better and I was being a huge bitch. I paused before answering.

  “Coffee sounds good. Can we talk about yesterday? I think I owe you an explanation.”

  “Coffee and conversation,” he whispered. “Sounds good to me.”

  His dimple showed as he flashed me a quick smile. I tried to ignore how sexy it was. It wasn’t fair because even in basketball shorts and a t-shirt he looked amazing. I’m sure I looked like a hot mess in my yoga pants and a hoodie. My hair was thrown up in a messy bun from hell, but there was nothing I could do about it now. When I looked into the mirror this morning, I realized there was no amount of makeup that would have helped.