Waiting to Breathe: Book One of the Waiting Duet Read online

  WAITING TO BREATHE

  Copyright © 2017 by Alyson Reynolds.

  All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations em- bodied in critical articles or reviews.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organizations, places, events and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  For information contact :

  www.authoralysonreynolds.com

  Book and Cover design by Alyson Reynolds

  Edited by Cat Parisi

  ISBN: 123456789

  First Edition: March 2017

  10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

  Dedication

  To Vera and Frances,

  Thank you for giving me so much. I love and miss you both.

  I stared at the large brick building in front of me, terrified of taking those last few steps inside. After the false sense of security my small high school offered, it seemed like a stupid idea to be going into a large lecture hall full of two hundred plus students. Plus there was the fact that I hadn’t actually been in a classroom in the past two years. My bag jostled around from side to side as people rushed by to get to their next class. It was irritating, but understandable because I was the one standing at the top of the stairs in everyone’s way like an idiot.

  I started to tumble as I dodged some huge guys that had to be football players. Strong arms wrapped around me before I could further embarrass myself by falling down the flight of stairs behind me head first.

  “Easy there, cupcake.”

  Cupcake? I barked out a laugh. You’ve got to be kidding me? Not that I’m not grateful for this guy saving me, but really. His game needed some work if the only nickname he could come up with was cupcake.

  “You okay?” his sexy, husky voice asked.

  I turned to answer him and got a glimpse of my savior. Holy hell. I changed my mind. He could call me whatever he wanted. This guy was so freaking hot, I wanted him to catch me again just so I could try to cop a feel of his muscled arms and chest. His dark hair and forest green eyes didn’t hurt either. I wanted to stick my pinky finger in the dimple centered on his left cheek.

  A smirk crossed his sexy as sin face and I realized I was staring. I also hadn’t answered his question. Shit.

  “Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks for keeping me from brain damage. That would have been a bad start to the school year.”

  “No problem, cupcake.”

  “There you go with the cupcake thing again. Does that line normally work for you?”

  “It has up until now.”

  He threw his head back in laughter, catching the attention of several females in the area. My heart gave a nervous little jump in my chest as I pulled away. I barely made it three steps away before he was talking to me again.

  “Hey, wait up. If you don't want me to call you cupcake, will you at least tell me your name?”

  “What’s your name?” I demanded. Damn, I was being an ungrateful bitch. This guy had just saved my ass. Maybe I shouldn’t be so hateful.

  He grabbed my arm gently, pulling me out of the way just inside the doorway of the building I had been staring at just minutes before.

  “My name is Nathaniel Ford, but my friends call me Nate.” He smiled and I think I lost some brain cells. “Now this is where you tell me your name, gorgeous.”

  The smirk on his gorgeous mouth made me want to smack him. I pulled my arm from his grasp and started walking towards my class.

  “My name is Olivia Crawford,” I called over my shoulder.

  “You’re Finn’s sister?”

  I kept walking, but called out, “The one and only.”

  ____

  Thank goodness I made it to class with a few minutes to spare. My plan had been to get to class early and take a seat up front, but after my near death experience with the stairs and Nathaniel's muscled arms, I felt calmer than I had staring at the building. Luckily I was able to grab one of the last remaining seats. Maybe it was better this way since my nerves had subsided some. I tried to remember the last time I had actually flirted with anyone, but I was drawing a blank. My skills were seriously lacking.

  The professor started class and I tried to pay attention, but my mind kept wandering to forest green eyes and dimples. Shaking my head, I refocused on what the professor was saying about his grading scale. From what my brother had told me about this class, I would have my work cut out for me. Being distracted from day one wasn’t how I wanted to start the semester.

  When class was dismissed I pulled out my phone to see if Finn had called or text yet. We planned on meeting up for lunch since we hadn’t seen each other all summer. Luckily I got out a few minutes early so I could find my way to the Student Union without getting lost. It was only my second day on campus, but my sense of direction was severely lacking.

  Finn was waiting for me when I finally showed up. Several of his friends were sitting with him and I groaned. I thought lunch was just going to be us, but I should have known better. Although he had good intentions, his attempts to socialize me always stung a little. My idea of a good time was to be curled up with a good book, but Finn kept me from becoming a hermit by dragging me out to his awful parties. Even in high school he made me run around with him when I just wanted to stay at home.

  Sighing, I crossed the large room. He jumped up when he saw me and wrapped me up in a huge hug. I felt better just being in the same room with my twin. We might have been twins, but we didn’t look anything alike. His light, sandy blonde hair and my dark brown locks contrasted against one another is just one of our major differences. My arms wrapped around him and he tightened his arms around me.

  “Guys, this is my sister Olivia. Liv, these assholes are my fraternity brothers.”

  Finn went around the group, naming off everyone, one by one, Adam, Jason, Carter. He kept going, but my gaze drawn to a pair of forest green eyes that were staring back at me.

  “Nathaniel,” I said ignoring my brother.

  “My friends call me Nate. Remember?”

  His husky voice sent a shiver down my spine. Finn frowned as he looked between the two of us.

  “Wait. When did you two meet?”

  “I kept your sister from doing a header down the stairs in front of Vance Hall,” he said grinning.

  “You wouldn’t have needed to save me if you hadn’t run me over in the first place.”

  “Cupcake, you stopped right in front of me, I was lucky I didn’t fall down the staircase myself.”

  “I did not,” I defended as a blush crept up my cheeks.

  I definitely had.

  “Liv, I’m positive you stopped directly in front of him. You do it to me all the time,” Finn said laughing.

  “Lies. All lies. You’re supposed to be on my side,” I said, pointing at Finn. “I need Cora here to help me out.”

  “Too bad she would be on my side,” he said laughing.

  I frowned at him and tried to change the subject. “So what are you feeding me today baby brother?”

  “Two minutes. You beat me by two minutes. I’m pretty sure you pushed me out of the way too.”

  I smirked and said, “Doesn’t matter. I still came out first.”

  The guys laughed and teased Finn, but as they talked I felt the heavy feeling of someone staring. When I glanced over at Nate, his gaze was still focused on me.

  “What?” I asked.

 
“So if you’re twins then why are you just coming to SCU now? Are you a freshman?”

  I started to answer, but Finn cut me off. “She’s actually been taking classes for a while now. My dear overachiever, brainiac sister wanted to get ahead in her degree, so she took classes last year while she traveled.”

  “That’s cool. Where all did you travel? I spent a semester in Europe as an exchange student.”

  I shrugged. “Here and there, nothing as exciting as Europe. I just wanted to get away for a while.”

  There was no way I was going to talk about what I had been through the past year. Finn had been left in the dark about most of what happened. My chest rose and fell quickly with my labored breaths. Finn must have sensed how close I was to losing my shit because he grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the food.

  Once we were out of earshot he pinned me with a hard look.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, you rescued me in time. Finn, what am I going to do if I can’t even have a simple conversation with your friends? This was a bad idea.”

  “It’s not a bad idea. I’ve missed you and I want you to stay. I’m with you every step of the way.” He dropped his gaze to the floor. “Are you going to change your mind?”

  “No.” I closed my eyes. “I just don’t want to think about it or be scared of saying something that is going to trigger a panic attack. I thought I was past all that.”

  Finn threw his arm around my shoulder and I immediately felt better. He always had a way of making me calm.

  “No one will find out anything, Liv. Even if they did, you don't have anything to be ashamed of.” His hands clenched into fists by his side.

  “But I—”

  “We’ve talked about this. You did what you thought was best. Now come on and let’s go get some food.”

  His hands on my shoulders, he led me through the Union, showing me the best places to get food and the softest couches to curl up on.

  Finn did his best to distract me until it was time for my next class. His friends were all funny and they had some awesome stories to tell me about the stupid things he had done the year before without me. It sounded like he’d had a good year.

  When I stood up to leave, Nate grabbed my bag for me. As our fingers touched I sucked in a sharp breath.

  “Do I make you nervous, cupcake?”

  “Don’t flatter yourself.”

  That damn smirk was back and even though the last thing I needed was a guy, even a really hot as hell guy. It scared the hell out of me, but the attraction was there.

  “What do you have next?”

  “Behavioral Psych with Hooper. You?”

  “Looks like we’ll be spending some time together this semester after all, cupcake.”

  “Oh joy,” I said weakly.

  ____

  Turns out that Dr. Hooper is an amazing professor and I was excited to take his class. Nate sat next to me and played on his phone while we went over the syllabus. I frowned at him, but he ignored me and kept playing angry birds for the entire hour. When class was dismissed, I looked over at Nate as we gathered our things.

  “Don’t take this the wrong way, but what are you doing in this class? It’s upper lever psych and you don’t seem all that interested in it.”

  “How are you in this class if you’re only a sophomore, cupcake?”

  “Technically I’m a junior. I took a lot of courses last year that put me ahead. Plus I was able to CLEP out of all my AP classes my senior year of high school. Don’t change the subject.”

  “Well aren’t you a smarty pants,” he teased. I blushed, but didn’t respond. “I’m minoring in psychology if you must know.”

  “What’s your major?”

  “Pre-med.”

  He said it like it almost didn’t matter.

  “You’re majoring in pre-med and getting a minor in psych?” I said in disbelief.

  “God, Olivia. Don’t say it like that. I just like the psych classes, so I decided to take a few extra. You never know when it will help with a patient.”

  “Oh.”

  I was just all kinds of fucking brilliant today.

  “Your brother told me you were the valedictorian of your class.”

  “He did?”

  “Yeah. Since we came into the frat house at the same time we hung out a lot. He talked about his brainiac sister all the time. The guy really missed you last year.”

  “What else did he say?”

  “Nothing really. He definitely didn’t say how pretty you were.”

  “Oh,” I said, blushing a little.

  “So, I feel like I know you, cupcake.”

  “You know, we were doing so well and then you called me that stupid nickname. Will you stop it with the cupcake bit?”

  “What? I think it fits, but I guess I could call you shortcake. That one might even fit you better. You can’t be more than what, five-two?”

  “I will cut you,” I said through gritted teeth. He threw his head back and laughed, and I thought my ovaries might explode. His hand brushed against mine as we walked down the hall and my entire body tensed.

  “I’ve got to go,” I said suddenly. I practically ran from him as I took off down the hall towards the dorms. He had a bewildered look on his face as I glanced back over my shoulder at him.

  ____

  I shut my dorm room door behind me and thunked my head against it.

  “Stupid. Stupid. Stupid,” I said hitting my head with each chant.

  “I’ve seen your SAT scores, you aren’t stupid. Far from it friend.”

  “Holy hell, Cora. You scared the shit out of me.”

  “Sorry,” she said shrugging. “So why are you so not stupid?”

  “Because I’m socially inept and a fucking idiot.”

  “Socially inept maybe, a fucking idiot...definitely not.”

  “Gee thanks.”

  “I’m waiting.”

  “Okay, okay.” I laid my head back against the door for a second. “I started out my day amazingly. I may or may not have been saved from falling down a large flight of stairs by an incredibly hot guy. Said hot guy also might or might not be one of Finn’s fraternity brothers and in one of my classes.”

  “Still not seeing the problem, Liv. You are really fucking clumsy, so I don’t see you getting all flustered over nearly falling down a flight of stairs.”

  I stuck my tongue out at her. “We were talking after class, there might have been a small amount of flirting, but when his hand brushed mine I freaked the hell out. Cora, I practically ran from the guy.” I thunked my head against the door again. Her laughter filled the room and I groaned. “I need to be kept in a cave. Seriously.”

  She pulled me down on her bed and patted my back.

  “After everything you’ve dealt with over the past year, being a little awkward with guys is expected. I’m proud of you for what you’ve achieved already.”

  “Let’s not get into it now, please. It’s been a long morning.” I took a deep breath. “Tell me how your first day went.”

  “Nothing exciting. I’m sorry I couldn’t meet up for lunch.”

  “It’s fine, you didn’t miss much. I just met all of Finn’s fraternity brothers.”

  She sighed breathily. Gross. Most frat guys are complete assholes. I never wanted to date a frat guy.

  “Do you want to get a movie and hang out tonight or do you have plans with Finn?”

  “We don’t have plans, but he might stop by later. A movie sounds great. I’m supposed to go to some sorority legacy thing, but I’m going to skip it. Mom keeps pushing me and it’s pissing me off.”

  “Do you think it’s because that was something you would have wanted before—”

  “Priorities change, Cora,” I said shooting her a look.

  She stared at me for a few seconds before slowly saying, “Okay, Liv. Let’s go get a movie.”

  ____

  My phone buzzed on the nightstand beside me and I glared down at it. Whoe
ver this was, was interrupting my girl time with Cora. Since I had been traveling for so long, we hadn’t had much time together until recently. Not to mention the movie was just getting to the good part.

  I ran my finger over the screen absentmindedly, still starting at the television. I sucked in a sharp gasp as I read the message from the unknown number. My hands shook uncontrollably and it was hard to catch my breath.

  “Olivia! Liv, what’s wrong?”

  She was standing over me, and I didn’t know when it happened. I realized I was curled up into a little ball and tears ran down my face.

  “He has my number.” I sucked in a breath. “He’s going to find me again.”

  Cora climbed into the bed behind me and ran her hand through my hair soothingly. “I don’t know how he got your phone number, but it’s going to be okay.”

  I choked back another gasping sob. “He threatened to find her.”

  “You can’t let him do this to you anymore. Honey, I know you don’t want to talk about it, but maybe it’s time. If not to me, at least talk to Finn; he’s worried about you too.”

  I hugged my pillow to my stomach. It had been a few months since I’d had a panic attack this bad and I felt weak.

  “I can’t. Not because I don’t want to, but because I don’t know what I would say to him when I can’t even figure it out myself. Everything hurts, but I can’t explain the pain that’s constantly weighing down on me. How can I share that with him?”

  Cora kept running her hands down my back as I calmed down. We could hear the movie in the background, long forgotten.

  “All I want is to finally be myself again. I know that will never happen, but maybe I can become some new improved version of my old self. Every time I think I’m starting to get there, he shows up in some way.”

  She sighed. “I hate this for you. I wish I could take away all the shit you’ve been through over the past year and a half. You’re so much stronger than I ever could be.”

  I scoffed. “That’s not true. I fall apart all the time. I’ve just learned to hide it.”