Waiting to Breathe: Book One of the Waiting Duet Read online

  Finn pulled back and shot me a look. I shrugged. Honestly, I couldn’t remember the last time I had slept so well and I didn’t feel guilty at all.

  “Are you leaving?” Finn demanded.

  “Leaving?” Nate said, finally sitting up. I tried not to drool over his chest, but his abs called to me.

  “Olivia, pay attention to me please.” I turned back to Finn and tried to remember my own name. “I’m sorry Christian showed up. I asked Erick not to let him stay, but without a valid reason he can’t stop him from joining our chapter if he really wants to. He’s transferring in, mid-semester.”

  I already knew before Finn told me. Christian wouldn’t have showed up at the house if he hadn’t already been accepted into SCU. He wasn’t the type to show his hand too early.

  Before this would have sent me into a tailspin, but now things were different. The anger that had been on a slow simmer inside me had finally reached the boiling point. If Christian bothered me, he would live to regret it.

  “It’s not your fault, or your responsibility to keep him away from me Finn. You guys used to be friends.”

  “After everything that happened, you think I would actually be friends with that douchebag?” Finn asked shooting a quick glance in Nate’s direction.

  “He knows. I told him everything last night. He knows about Christian, and Ellie. He even knows about the misery that was the past two years of my life.” I paused. “Don’t kill me, but do you want to see a picture of her?”

  Finn raised an eyebrow. “First off, why are you even asking? Show me my niece now. I could kick your ass for holding out on me. Second, I’m proud of you for talking about it.”

  I looked back at Nate and he was smiling too. His dimple stood out in his cheek and it made the corner of my lips tip up.

  “I’m happy she told me, too.”

  I handed a picture from the box over to Finn and went to sit down on the bed. Leaning over, I kissed Nate. His hand cupped the side of my face, and Finn made gagging sounds.

  “Dude, stop feeling up on my sister while I’m in the room.”

  “Well then leave so I can feel her up and you don’t have to see it.”

  “Gross. I was trying to be a good brother and check up on my sister, but she’s too busy trying to get laid to even talk to me.”

  I blushed furiously, and Nate chuckled.

  “Get the hell out of here, Finn. Quit being a dick to your sister.”

  Finn grabbed the doorknob. “Use condoms.”

  He slammed it behind him before I could throw anything at his head.

  Nate’s husky laugh made me giggle. I squealed as he pulled me back down on the bed next to him. He wrapped his arms around me, and I rested my hand on his chest.

  “I don’t want you to feel pressured for any of that, Olivia.”

  I raised my head up to look in his eyes. “Nate, if I felt like you pressured me for anything, I would have run faster than you could have said sex. I’m happy with how things are going. If anything, I want you to move a little further south with your hands.”

  His hand gripped my ass. “Is this what you meant?”

  “Not exactly,” I said giggling.

  His fingers slowly trailed my stomach until he was playing with the band of my silk panties. Nate stared into my eyes as his fingers dipped even lower. I bit down on my lip as he brushed across my clit. When his finger slipped inside me, my mouth fell open in a silent moan and my head fell back against the pillow. His lips brushed across my neck and lips as his fingers moved.

  Nate alternated between circling my sensitive nub and pushing his fingers deep inside of me. I gripped the sheets when he adjusted so he could pump his fingers deeper. He continued teasing me and working me until small whimpers fell from my lips.

  I shivered as he whispered in my ear. His lips felt hot on my neck.

  “Come for me, Olivia. Don’t fight it, baby.”

  His teeth nipped lightly at my neck and I shattered against his hand. He kissed me to muffle my cries of pleasure. I rode out the waves of pleasure and sank into the bed in a boneless heap.

  Things didn’t seem even, I reached for his zipper, but he grabbed my hand and kissed it gently.

  “Not now. Maybe next time.”

  I looked into his forest green eyes and fell into their depths. Nathaniel Ford was a force to be reckoned with and I had no idea how to handle what I felt for him.

  ____

  Brunch was amazing. Nate took me to a little bistro on the pier. We ate French toast and watched dolphins swimming on the horizon. It didn’t seem fair that our weekend was ending after today, and despite the drama of Christian showing up it had been fun. Amazingly, he hadn’t ruined our first date.

  After a walk on the beach, Nate took me back to my dorm and dropped me off so he could go study. I knew he was behind in at least one of his classes, and I resolved myself to make him actually study more instead of spending time with me.

  Cora bombarded me as soon as I came into our dorm room. We talked for a long time and she explained how happy she was to see that I was finally acting like myself again. She was terrified that I was going to turn back into the pod person I had been for the past year since Christian had showed back up. I promised her that I didn’t want that for myself. She was as shocked as Finn that I had actually told Nate about Ellie without being forced.

  It was confirmed that Christian was living in the frat house and I worried that he might try to start something with Nate or Finn, but there was nothing I could do about that unless I wanted to tell some stupid frat president my entire life story. My life was none of his business, and I would survive having Chris around even if I was miserable.

  The fact that I had to deal with Christian pissed me off, but more than anything I was worried about how Olivia would do with the fact that he would constantly be on campus. Finn wasn’t doing well dealing with that fact. I could only imagine what it was doing to Liv, not that she would admit it to anyone. My girl was strong.

  It blew my mind that Olivia had a baby. Well, it wasn’t really the fact that she had a baby. The fact that she’d had a baby and realized the situation she was in wasn’t how she wanted her daughter to grow up was what impressed the hell out of me. Olivia had to be one of the most selfless people I had ever met in my life. Before I knew her secret, part of me always knew that she had a sadness that I hadn’t been able to pinpoint the source of, but now I knew. After everything, I just wanted to help her heal.

  I had been trying to study, but my mind was still racing with everything that Olivia had told me. Had she truly thought I wouldn’t want to be part of her life because of that? Christian really had done a number on her.

  A knock on my door pulled me from my thoughts.

  “Come in.”

  Finn opened the door and grinned at me. “This is the last of summer and you’re in here studying?”

  “Some of us don’t have your natural ability to study through osmosis.”

  “A couple of the guys want to have a bonfire out at the beach later, around eightish. You in?”

  I looked down at my books. They would still be here later, plus I had been studying nonstop for hours.

  “I’m in. Just the guys? Or can I bring Liv along?”

  “Glad to see you’re already pussy whipped.”

  I scoffed. “I’m not whipped, asshole.”

  He laughed. “Whatever, dude. Invite Liv. I’m going to ask Cora if she wants to come too.”

  I raised an eyebrow. Those two had been awfully chummy lately. Finn insisted that they had always been that way, but they hadn’t hung out nearly this much last year.

  My phone vibrated next to me and when I glanced down, I groaned.

  “Still the crazy bitch?”

  “I can’t get rid of her. I know I signed up for the study group, but she is trying to get everyone together on a Saturday night. She’s insane.”

  Finn sat down at my desk and pinned me with a look. “I don’t want to pry—�
�

  “Yes you do. Just spit it out, Finn.”

  “Have you told Olivia about Lila? If she finds out she’s texting you it could mess things up for you. She’s not jealous, but after everything with Christian she won’t tolerate being lied to.”

  “I’m not lying to her,” I said defensively.

  “I know you’re not, but if you don’t tell Liv about the texts and she finds out, she’ll have your balls.”

  “She knows about the study group, and yes, she does know that Lila is the person in charge.”

  “But does she know about your past with this chick?”

  I shook my head. “We haven’t really talked about it.”

  Finn blew out a breath. “I don’t want to tell you how to handle your relationship, but I’m warning you on this one. If you don’t tell my sister about Lila and it comes up for some reason, it’s going to bite you in the ass.”

  I sighed. Apparently he wasn’t going to let this go. “If it comes up again, I’ll tell her. I’m not going to make her worry over nothing though.”

  He stood up and shrugged. “It’s your funeral.”

  “Finn, I’m really not trying to keep something from her, I just don’t want to make things harder. Olivia has dealt with enough.”

  “I get it, Nate. Just…be careful. Lila is a bitch when she doesn’t get what she wants, and I don’t want my sister to get hurt.”

  He left without waiting for my answer. Maybe I should just get it over with and tell Olivia about Lila because she’s told me about her past, but I don’t want to make this bigger than it is. I’ve been done with Lila for a long time and I’m not going to let her ruin what I have with Olivia.

  ____

  The bonfire was already going by the time we got to the beach. Someone had made a circle of logs around the fire. I grabbed the blankets from my truck and took Liv’s hand in mine. We trailed behind Finn and Cora, slowly making our way to our group of friends.

  Olivia was quiet and I wanted to make sure everything was okay with her. Cora pulled me to the side before we left the frat house and told me that she thought Olivia might have talked to Ellie’s adoptive parents, but she wasn’t certain. All I knew was that I wanted my girl to have a good time tonight. If I had to force feed her smores to do it, I would.

  We settled in the sand and she leaned back against me. I whispered in her ear. “Comfy?”

  She nodded and closed her eyes. “I don’t know how or why, but I always feel better when I’m with you.”

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah. It’s just a bad day. Well, not bad exactly. Abby sent me a video of Ellie crawling and it just…hurt.”

  “You’re heartsick.”

  She raised her eyebrows. “I guess I’ve never thought of it that way, but yeah.”

  “It’s something my Dad used to say and it stuck.”

  She sighed. “I don’t know how, but you just get me Nate.”

  I kissed her forehead. “That won’t ever change, cupcake.”

  For the first time in hours she smiled. We watched our friends run around the beach with sparklers. Finn walked up and grabbed Olivia’s hand. She shook her head, but he grabbed her up in a fireman’s hold. I laughed as she screamed and tried to punch him in the kidneys.

  “If you don’t stop that I’m going to throw you in the water.”

  It was funny watching them. Olivia was actually acting her age for once, and it was amazing to watch her be so carefree for a change. She was starting to loosen up more each day. Rather she wanted to admit it or not, telling me about Ellie had helped her.

  Cora sat down next to me, pulling my attention from my girlfriend and best friend.

  “You’re good for her.”

  I smirked. “Did you just give me a compliment, Cora Donovan?”

  “Don’t get used to it.” She smiled and handed me a beer. “She’s been so serious since everything happened, even with me and Finn she’s held back. It’s nice to see her acting like herself again.”

  I took a drink. “So what’s going on with you and Finn?”

  She laughed dryly. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

  I almost believed her. “Well if you ever want to—”

  “Don’t go getting all sentimental on me now, Ford. We were doing so well.”

  I chuckled. “You’re right. Sorry. It’ll never happen again.”

  We watched in comfortable silence as Finn talked Olivia into a sparkler. It wasn’t my place to ask Cora about Finn, but the longing was written all over her face. I wondered if he felt the same way. I had seen the jealousy written all over his when she flirted with other guys. These two were an even bigger mess than Liv and I were.

  “He’ll figure it out, and if he doesn’t, he’s an even bigger idiot than I thought he was.”

  “Something like that,” she mumbled.

  I stood up and stretched. “You’ll be okay either way, kid.”

  I felt the weight of her gaze on my back as I walked towards the water. Olivia’s smile was bright and contagious. She squealed as I threw her over my shoulder and took off running with her towards the water.

  Eventually the entire group ended up sitting around the bonfire. The night ended up being one that nothing eventful happened, but it would stand out so vividly in my memory that I would remember it forever. I would remember my college friends, an Indian summer night, and a bonfire with a beautiful girl.

  My early morning run helped clear my head before I had to go to class. I’d hoped that Christian hadn’t wormed his way into any of my classes, but I was sure I would have at least one class with him.

  Finn surprised me when he showed up at my dorm and walked with me to my first class of the day. He hadn’t asked if I was leaving SCU again, but I was sure it was still in the back of his mind. It was a question that had been plaguing me. The problem was, I didn’t have an answer for him. If things went south with Christian or he started harassing me, I might have to leave. All I knew was that I wasn’t planning on running this time.

  After class I met up with Cora and she walked with me to the Union to meet up with the guys. It wasn’t unusual, but I had some suspicions about how people kept showing up. We sat down with our food and I looked around the table.

  “I think I’m going to run to the bathroom.”

  “I’ll go with you,” Cora said quickly.

  “No, it’s fine you just sat down.”

  “It’s a salad. It won’t hurt it to sit while we go.”

  “You know, never mind. It can wait, but I forgot napkins and silverware.”

  I stood up to go get them and Nate stood up with me.

  “I’ll go with you, cupcake.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him and pointed at all of them.

  “I know what you guys are doing.”

  “What are you talking about, sis?” Finn asked feigning innocence.

  “Douche. You put them up to it didn’t you?”

  Nate sat back down and handed me his fork. “No, actually it was my idea.”

  “Traitor.”

  I sat down and took a bite of my salad.

  “As much as you guys suck, thank you.”

  Nate rubbed my back and we all finished our lunches. We stood up to leave for our class and I kissed Finn on the cheek. He wrapped his arm around me in a big hug. My twin deserved better than a sister like me, but I wouldn’t be here without him.

  Dr. Hooper was in the lecture hall early. He stood by his desk in the front talking to a student. Nate gripped my hand tightly as we walked to our normal seats. I had a sinking feeling I knew exactly who was standing there. When Christian turned around he met my eye and winked. Asshole. A shiver ran up my spine and I fought the impulse to run screaming from the room.

  “Do you want to go? I can make an excuse to Dr. Hooper. I’ll even skip with you if you want.”

  “No, I can’t let him run me off. That’s what he wants. He thrives on control.”

  “I’ll kick his ass for you if
you want,” he said, smiling. “I would thoroughly enjoy it.”

  “Easy there hulk.”

  I giggled and stuck my finger in his dimple. He grinned and kissed my head. We sat down and I took out my notebook. Nate pulled out his phone and pulled up the Angry Birds app.

  “Do you take notes in any of your classes?”

  “I record the lectures so I can listen to them again.”

  I stared at him in shock.

  “Are you kidding me? I’ve been busting my ass to take notes all semester and you record the damn lectures?”

  He started laughing and I smacked at his arm.

  “It’s not funny! I’ve had severe hand cramps because Dr. Hooper tests on the most obscure things he mentions in class.”

  “I still have all of the recordings if you want to listen to them again. I normally listen to them when I’m at the gym.”

  I started to tell him that I did want all the lectures, but Christian came down the aisle to the seat next to me.

  “Is anyone sitting here?”

  I glared at him.

  “You need to move on Christian. Olivia doesn’t want you near her and I have no problem making sure that doesn’t happen.”

  “Who in the hell are you anyway?” he asked Nate with a biting tone.

  “He’s my boyfriend,” I snapped. “So back the fuck up Christian. I know Dr. Hooper doesn’t enjoy having his lectures interrupted, but I’ll throw the biggest fucking fit if you don’t get away from me right now.”

  Nate stood up and he towered over Christian. At 6’1” he was taller than most guys, and Chris was no exception.

  “I’ll go, but this isn’t over. We need to talk.”

  I shook my head.

  “This has been over for a long time. Just go. All you’re doing is making yourself look like an idiot.”

  He looked around and noticed people were starting to stare. Christian took a step back and Nate sat down next to me. My first instinct was to curl into his side, but I knew Chris was still watching and he would get off on the fact that he intimidated me.